Alma Lewtom

5 Ways to Release Resentment

‘Sometimes we encounter situations in our life, such as being on the losing end of a zero sum game, which leave us feeling resentful. Sometimes the resentment towards the people who have put us in the difficult and painful situation can cloud our mind and heart. This article tackles resentment and how to release it, so we can become free of it. I hope you’ll enjoy it:


What is Resentment

Resentment is a mixture of sadness, disappointment, anger (even rage), and fear. It’s a negative emotional reaction to being mistreated, to being forced to be in an undesirable situation. It is tied to the soul wounds of humiliation, injustice, betrayal, rejection and abandonment. When these wounds are unhealed, we can experience resentment.


Holding Grievances

In A Course in Miracles, resentment is called grievance. There are a few beautiful lessons in this awe-inspiring metaphysical text, that teach us about grievances:

You who were created by love like itself can hold no grievances and know your Self. To hold a grievance is to forget who you are. [It] is to see yourself as a body. To hold a grievance is to let the ego rule your mind and to condemn the body to death. Perhaps you do not yet fully realize just what holding grievances does to your mind. It seems to split you off from your Source and make you unlike Him. It makes you believe that He is like what you think you have become, for no one can conceive of his Creator as unlike himself.

Shut off from your Self, which remains aware of Its likeness to Its Creator, your Self seems to sleep, while the part of your mind that weaves illusions in its sleep appears to be awake. Can all this arise from holding grievances? Oh, yes! For he who holds grievances denies he was created by love, and his Creator has become fearful to him in his dream of hate. Who can dream of hatred and not fear God?

It is as sure that those who hold grievances will redefine God in their own image, as it is certain that God created them like Himself, and defined them as part of Him. It is as sure that those who hold grievances will suffer guilt, as it is certain that those who forgive will find peace. It’s as sure that those who hold grievances will forget who they are, as it is certain that those who forgive will remember.


How To Release Resentment

If you struggle with resentment, you know that it’s an obstacle to your joyful state. Addressing these feelings will only help you in the long run. Instead of letting resentment affect your inner life, you can choose to tackle it. I’ve outlined 5 ways that can help release resentment:

1. Acceptance

Accept your feelings of resentment towards the circumstances and/or person(s) involved, and your part in the situation. As long as you resist or deny it, there is no way you can let go and move on.

2. Let It Out On Paper

Write a letter to the person(s) involved, letting everything that is eating you up out onto the page. This is a great practice so you can let yourself off the hook of the negative feelings that you harbor inside. Explain everything and don’t edit or censor yourself. Just let it all out. End it with your willingness to forgive so that you can become free of it. You don’t have to send this letter. You can burn it, rip it apart or bury it after you’ve finished it. The purpose is to free yourself of the thoughts and feelings that keep you stuck and in pain.

If you cherish this relationship and you want to keep in your life, communicate openly about the resentment. If you manage to resolve it with the other person, this will strengthen your bond. Yet if you don’t think you can find common ground or you don’t want to keep this relationship in your life, sharing this letter could worsen things. Follow your intuition and do what’s best for you considering your circumstances.

3. Transform Your Pain Through Art

“Make Good Art”, as in Neil Gaiman’s famous speech. This is what works for me best. Art is the greatest outlet for both expressing my joy, and processing the hard feelings that come with life. Expressing yourself through Art is a great form of therapy. You don’t have to consider yourself an artist, you can just allow yourself to undergo catharsis through creativity. And if it’s good or not, that’s subjective and out of the scope of you healing yourself.

4.  Meditate

The only way you can solve your inner struggles is by going within, and meditation is the means to do so. If you want to dive deeper into the psyche, I welcome you on the Cleansing with the Elements Journey. I created this meditation series for my inner healing, and I’m sure you’d benefit from the assistance of the elements of Water, Air, Fire and Earth to help you release your troubles and restore your peace of mind when you need it. You can get access to it when you sign up to my newsletter.

5. Move the body

Until we release them, negative emotions live in the body. A great way to do so is through exercise. And by moving the body, you can also regain the sense of you moving forward.


I hope this article will be a helping hand when you need to release resentment from your mind and heart. If you’ve enjoyed it, let me know in the comments! I’d love to hear from you.

With Healing Thoughts,

P.S. I’ve written this article for my inner healing and it is for entertainment purposes only. It’s not meant to diagnose or treat any mental health condition. If you are experiencing mental health symptoms, please contact a mental health provider in your community. Much Love ♡

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Alma Lewtom