Alma Lewtom

Humiliation: How to Recover From It

In my last blog article, I wrote about The 5 Soul Wounds and How to Heal Them. Since these 5 wounds have been on my mind a lot lately, I’ve decided to deepen these topics and write about each wound, as my next blog posts.

The first wound I’ll speak about is Humiliation: a form of degradation and disgrace to the Self. This kind of lowliness one is subjected to within a certain social context causes lots of emotional pain, mostly by damaging one’s self-esteem and sense of worth.


Humiliation is Painful

Humiliation is one of the most painful experiences one can go through. When we are humiliated, debased and dishonored, our emotional body registers the experience as wounding. The diminishment of the Self – for whatever reasons – has strong negative effects on a person’s emotional life, self-esteem and quality of life.

Humiliation is often unrelated to the innocence and intrinsic value of the person being humiliated. Most times, it is related to prejudices and preconceived notions such as sexism, racism, ageism or singlism. These unquestioned prejudices and traditions serve as an unconscious basis for the humiliation.

Unfortunately, most of our social institutions and establishments still allow humiliation to unfold. So many laws and traditions still promote humiliation of certain social groups, such as women or different ethnic groups. And with social media and TV shows normalizing humiliation when some do not perform to an outstanding level, it only makes it so that we keep allowing this wounding to be socially perpetuated.

Another observation about this topic is that it also happens that humiliation is learnt within one’s family. Some parents may use humiliation as a form of punishment, thinking wrongly that it is discipline. Yet humiliation isn’t and cannot be an effective way for bringing about a desired change in another person’s behavior. It only brings emotional harm and destroys trust.

Humiliation is painful, and it is in the best interest of our Society if we start bringing this wound to the Light of Consciousness and transmute it, so we evolve beyond such futile suffering and grow through joy rather than pain.


Recovering From Humiliation on the Inner Level

If the experience of humiliation affected your emotional life and self-esteem, there are ways you can recover and get over it.

Here are 3 steps to do so, on the inner level:

1. Acknowledge if the experience is truly related to you, or if it’s just a projection of the other person’s false ideas about you. If you did make mistakes, take responsibility and own up to them.

2. Accept your negative feelings as part of the healing experience. It is natural to feel painful emotions when we are going through something painful.

3. Forgive yourself, forgive the people who put you in the humiliating situation, and forgive the situation, when you are ready to let it all go. This way you give yourself the gift of Freedom.


Recovering From Humiliation on the Outer Level

On the outer level, here are 3 steps to take into consideration:

1. If you can’t change the situation to be loving and respectful, remove yourself from the situation. As Eckhart Tolle says,

“If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally. If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of those three options, and you must choose now. Then accept the consequences. No excuses. No negativity. No psychic pollution. Keep your inner space clear.”

There is nothing honorable about enduring emotionally damaging people and situations. Protect yourself with healthy boundaries, and have the courage to leave if that is the only way you can regain your mental and emotional balance.

2. Seek out social support. Often times, we want to isolate ourselves when we are going through something painful, such as a humiliating experience. Yet healing is more likely to occur when we feel socially supported.

3. Do nice things for yourself. Since humiliation affects one’s self-esteem, it’s important to treat yourself nicely to counteract the wounding. Buy yourself flowers, take yourself to a nice place, or give yourself the gift of a healing book or beautiful Art.


Healing Journeys To Help You Heal

If you want to dive deeper into the psyche and heal this wound, I welcome you on The Elements Journey. I created this meditation series for my inner healing. And, I’m sure you’d also benefit from the assistance from the elements of Water, Air, Fire and Earth to help you release your troubles and restore your peace of mind when you need it. Gain access to it by subscribing to my weekly newsletter.

And, if you are a poetry lover and you know the healing power of Art, consider the lyrical journey of my book Embraced by Love. It takes one from trauma to healing and love through 111 poems, and it’s like ointment for the Soul.

With Love,

Art Prints
After The Storm Comes The Sun-Illustrated Children's Book


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Alma Lewtom