Alma Lewtom

Resilience: The Strength To Get Back Up After Falling

While it would be great if our lives were full of happiness and sunshine all the time, the reality is that so many of us experience hardship and struggle. Difficult experiences might bring us down in dark places flavored with painful feelings such heartbreak or rage.

The strongest of us do get back up after heartbreaking experiences and we become stronger and more resilient afterwards. And this is what we’ll explore in this article.


Before Getting Out of The Pit, We Must First Accept We Are In A Pit

When something heartbreaking or traumatic takes place, we might find that our mind is stuck in shock. It might go in looping circles of hurtful thoughts such as “I am unworthy”, “Life is just suffering”, etc, etc. Consequently, difficult feelings arise.

It is as if we are all of the sudden in a dark pit of suffering. We might not want to admit that, we might fight it and resist it. We might wish for things to be different than they actually are, and then be resentful that this is how they are.

The thing is, if anything happened that threw us in a metaphorical dark pit, we must first accept that we are there, and allow our difficult thoughts and feelings about it to be acknowledged, honored, respected, and ultimately released and transformed.

If we see our sadness or anger that has naturally arisen because of it as impermissible, and we start blaming ourselves for having such reactions, that’s like putting salt on the wound. While releasing them directly and in a safe manner, all the while loving and care-taking the wounded parts of ourselves, that’s like putting ointment on the wound.


The Decision To Get Back Up is Part of Our Resilience

Now that we have accepted that we did fall into a dark pit of suffering, and we processed our way out of the initial shock and emotional discomfort, we need to make the decision to get back up. To climb out of the pain and back up to serenity and joy.

Once we’ve taken this decision, we can actively move forward and bring the change we want to the situation. Depending on the context, it might take months or even years to climb out of the pit, and it might not be easy at all. To get out of it though, we must first decide that we want to do it. We must summon all the strength inside us, and possibly even help from others, to be able to go forth and propel ourselves out of it.

We take the decision. Then do the work, for however long it takes. To get out of the pit and back in the arms of Love.


Wearing Our Scars With Honor

The struggle may be over now, and the chapter of the dark pit of pain and suffering might be behind us. But it will be part of our life experience. The wounds inflicted during the fall or in the process of climbing up might be healed now. The scars will remain.

Let’s wear our scars with honor for the trials and tribulations that have made us to become more aware of our courage, endurance and capacity to surmount hardships.


The Grace of Resilience

We build Resilience when we recover from hardship, and the more resilient we become, the faster we will be able to face the challenges life brings us.

It is tough sometimes. We might find ourselves in demanding situations that ask for our strength to be brought to resolution. And sometimes, there is no satisfying resolution for us (for example, win-lose or lose-lose methods of ending conflict, which may bring relationships to a painful end). It is Resilience that allows us to come back to a happy and healthy state, and we can actively cultivate Resilience in our lives.

I hope you’ve enjoyed the exploration of this topic through this short essay, Friend. If you want to hear my voice reciting my poem The Grace of Resilience, and see my paintings in motion, I invite you to subscribe to my weekly email messages by using the form below to get access to the video stop-motion! And if you’ve already had the experience of The Grace of Resilience, I hope you’ve enjoyed it!

Much Love,


Art Prints
After The Storm Comes The Sun-Illustrated Children's Book


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Alma Lewtom